How to Hold Your Faith Together When Life Falls Apart

Maggie (00:01.369)
Anybody feel like they've been living on just faith these days? Welcome to Women Folk Revival, where we are deeply rooted, wildly intentional, and lately pissed off. I'm Aggie.

Meara (00:19.781)
And I'm Mira and we were supposed to talk about powerhouse plants this week, but we've decided to switch things up and come to you with something a little bit more personal because honestly, it's just been one heck of a last few months for us. And I also apologize because I totally missed last week's episode upload on Wednesday and I have been beating myself up about it. But this is just.

Maggie (00:45.039)
and you need to let it go because it happens.

Meara (00:46.52)
It's just reality right now. I've let it go because I've apologized to our women folk and I just want them to know that it was an honest mistake, but we are still here and we are still pushing through. And these are just extremely trying times where, you know, we have to rely on our, our faith and not.

okay, this has to get done, this has to get done, things just are not gonna get done and that is just gonna be okay and it is not the end of the world because, you know, our creator already has it all planned out for us, you know, we can do all the planning we want.

Maggie (01:18.947)
And he doesn't give us more than we can handle. Even though we don't always want to handle everything that we're being given, but we know that we'll make it through.

Meara (01:26.176)
No, never.

Meara (01:31.438)
Like at all. That's all right. The last couple of weeks has been very trying for me on my end. As you know, our youngest had emergency surgery. We were heading into because I thought she had a...

appendicitis and I called the doctor to try and calm myself down because you know when you're a nurse you think we are taught to expect the worst but hope for the best. So here I am expecting the worst on our way into the emergency room and I'm like okay relax call the doctor and the doctor was like well if you think that's what it is go in but your child does not have this and you know I was trying to figure out what else it could be to try and calm myself down and then

That night was just absolutely rough. So the next day my husband was just like, just take her in. And sure enough, she had a perforated appendix. So we were in the hospital for about four or five days and that was trying. She is 100 % okay. yeah.

Maggie (02:31.249)
and she is okay.

And that is another listen to your intuition. My goodness. Cause you know, cause things happen and even that was not typical for that to happen. Like the doctor said, but that's what was going on.

Meara (02:40.76)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (02:48.28)
No.

Well, the surgeon said she's even seen eight month old with a perforated appendix, but it's just like, my gosh, how, you know, how many times do I have to tell you something is wrong with my child for you to listen? So keep pushing through. I'm a huge person on advocate. You'll always hear me say advocate for yourself. Do it. Even if they tell you otherwise, go see somebody else. I don't care. We are just like, screw it. We're just going to go in. So that was, that was, that was tough.

Maggie (03:08.637)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (03:20.785)
You know, let me just say something since we're on this subject. I, there are a lot of doctors out there that just suck, that really just suck. But man, are there some phenomenal ones. And I'm lucky, lucky that my, my, regular health doctor is phenomenal.

Meara (03:21.6)
So.

Meara (03:30.528)
You

Meara (03:35.349)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (03:44.494)
And when I told him I was pregnant earlier this year and I needed a new doctor because my OB does not do maternity care, he recommended someone who is just absolutely phenomenal. I am no longer pregnant. I've had my...

a second miscarriage. had one last year and I just had one recently that I'm still slightly dealing with and getting over. I did not have a typical miscarriage and it was absolutely awful on top of already being awful. I had gone into my doctor and she told me that I needed to go straight to the hospital for, to have a DNC right away. And

You know, as a mom and as having life going on, I'm thinking to myself, I can't possibly go to the hospital right now. And I told her that and I asked if I. I could, you know, go a different day and she looked at me like I was insane and said, no, no, you can't. And as I'm trying to think of a plan in my head, she leans in, she goes, unless you want to try and take care of it here.

Meara (04:46.21)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (04:57.272)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (05:08.509)
And I asked her, because everything pointed to an infection because my body was not releasing everything the way it should. And then she said that I would have to take antibiotics. And I said, well, I'd rather not take antibiotics.

Meara (05:29.789)
You

Maggie (05:30.941)
because they're just horrible for you, you know? And she looks at me like I'm crazy and she goes, if we do this here, you have to take antibiotics. And I said fine. And then I called my husband because I was upset.

Meara (05:40.835)
Yeah.

Maggie (05:47.025)
And he was like, Maggie, was like, if we were set up to do everything naturally and knew how to take care of everything naturally, then we would do it that way. He was like, but we just don't. He was like, so you're just going to have to do it their way. So she ended up doing the procedure and essentially she just goes in manually and gets the leftovers out.

which was awful. And then I had to go back to do another ultrasound and it showed that there was still a lot of, a lot of tissue and leftover still, still there. So then we had to do it again and

Everyone that was there's only a few people there because it was after hours all these people are staying after hours to do this for me and they were so wonderful and taking such such care of me and this whole process was just it was awful and uncomfortable and painful and emotional

But this group of women that took care of everything, you know, was a big reason of why I was able to keep calm and get through it. And I saw her today and she apologized because in the chaos of everything, she never even offered me any kind of pain medication or anything before she started. And I looked at her, I'm like, I wouldn't have taken it anyway.

Maggie (07:29.72)
she laughed. She laughed and she was like, I kind of figured you would say that. But she's wonderful and she didn't have to offer to do that. She could have sent me to have the DNC, but she didn't. And you know, she told me today that it was a much natural way of doing it and less, less risk involved. And because of it, I didn't have to do the anesthesia that I would have.

Meara (07:31.022)
You know, I can't stand you.

Maggie (07:58.737)
had to do for the DNC and which she said can be, you know, is one of the riskiest parts of doing it. So I just want to say there are some wonderful doctors out there that, you know, and my doctor who referred me to her, his wife is a patient and he mentioned that she was always late and that he likes to give her a hard time about that.

Meara (08:01.71)
DNC.

Maggie (08:28.56)
And there have been several times when I've gone that she is late, but she sits there and she talks to you and she listens. You know, and for every question that I kept coming up with, she sat there and talked to me about it. Not short answers, you know, she went into depth and that's... Those are the doctors that you guys need to find.

Meara (08:37.002)
It's worth it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's all you can ask for.

Meara (08:46.83)
answered.

Meara (08:50.968)
Yeah.

It's what you wanted.

Well, first I want to say that you are a beast of a woman. And I really admire you for that because I would have been in the hospital drugged up. And that's probably why she did it too. Cause she knew how strong you were, but I remember when you text me, no, did you call me? I can't even remember. It was one, no, you called me. You're like, do you have a minute? said, do you have a minute? I was like, yeah, what's up? And you were telling me what was going on. And you were like,

Maggie (09:02.652)
You

Maggie (09:19.324)
I can't remember. I called you. Yeah.

Meara (09:26.702)
She wants me to take antibiotics. And I'm like, no, Maggie, let's be honest with ourselves here. We have to take antibiotics. We cannot, we cannot skip out on that. And it was so hard for you. It was so traumatic. I, I, it was hard to watch, but you still did the podcast episodes and you're a beast. proud of you.

Maggie (09:26.864)
Hahahaha

Maggie (09:50.833)
But so are you and everything that you're going through and how much more of the podcast that you took on because I was so sick during the pregnancy and then losing the pregnancy and then everything afterward, you took care of everything.

Meara (10:08.462)
Yeah, but I mean, I mean, that's that's what you do, you know, when someone's not doing well, that's that's what friendships all about. So, I don't know, so emotional today, but weird and ugly crying on the podcast.

Maggie (10:19.033)
I'm

Meara (10:26.626)
You're allowed to be human. That's all I have to say. It's just been so trying. And then I work 52 hours a week, six days a week, third shift, and I'm home during the day with my husband and we're looking for a home and my God, that's just so trying. So we've gone through our share of ups and downs. And then of course we had three children back to back. or again, this one just turned two, so we have a two, three and four year old right now at the moment.

And you know, you get into that roommate phase after you have children, but we kind of like went into that roommate phase and just stayed. It's like been dormant for X amount of years. So we've had some trials and tribulations, but we have weighed so heavily on our faith. And my husband, he always used to say, grr, grr is too much, too much grr, grr. It's not good, you know, and talking, he means talking.

But over the years, he's just come around to learn how to actually talk to me about how he feels. And then being a woman, I overanalyze everything and I'm like, well, he meant it this way. And now I'm upset about this. And he said, looked at me funny and I'm pissed. And it's like, wait a minute, you're the one that wanted him to do the gurgle to begin with. Why are you not sitting back and trying to listen to what he has to say? I hate it.

Maggie (11:34.094)
You

Meara (11:52.736)
I hate the truth being told in my face. I hate the mirror up to my face saying, this is who you are. This is who you are. And for so long, I've been saying, it's not who I am. It's not who I am. Sometimes we need to sit back and realize this is who we are. And, you know, for me, I've realized over the last few days, especially that

He's finally talking and I don't like it, but you're gonna and you have to because that's what you wanted and that's how it's gonna fix things. So it is, it is. It is what I need.

Maggie (12:24.565)
what you wanted and that's what you need. and like and like I tell you all the time my husband and I went through this too. It really took almost a decade for us to you know really learn to talk to one another and to get along and

to realize our, it's so easy to see the faults in others and it's not as easy to see the fault in yourself. So while, you know, in the beginning of our marriage, I'm just thinking that everything is, is, is him causing it. And finally, one day I just was like, my goodness, I'm doing this and this and this, and it's most likely causing him.

Meara (12:53.55)
and yourself.

Maggie (13:12.923)
do all these things and and I stopped doing them and then he stops doing certain other things that I I was always complaining about and man sometimes it's just really stopping and taking a look at yourself and you know but man do it do it we have we have grown so much together my husband and I

Meara (13:28.428)
It's hard. It's hard. It's very hard. It's very hard. And I hate it.

Maggie (13:41.284)
We talked about divorce early in our marriage. And I told him, was like, look, you're my best friend and I love you, but we bring out the absolute worst in each other. And we did. And he didn't want to get divorced. He just wanted to maybe separate and see if we could just take some time to ourselves and then come back together. And then I ended up pregnant with our first child together.

Meara (13:54.03)
f-

Maggie (14:09.881)
We have a now 19 year old, stepson, but our first child together. I was pregnant and we just stay together and made it work. And now, my goodness, mean, this man is everything to me. The man that I...

Meara (14:31.886)
You guys are good.

Maggie (14:36.909)
at one point wanted to divorce. He is everything to me and there's, I am certain that there's no other man on this planet that could, that could be my rock, you know.

Meara (14:40.814)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (14:50.654)
Ew, don't do that.

Maggie (14:55.365)
I still hate them, you know?

Meara (14:57.379)
man. All day every night now. Yeah.

Maggie (15:00.507)
I No, I love him. He does make me angry sometimes and of course, you know, that's just gonna happen. yeah, you know, and he's down for living this natural life with me and getting back to our roots and he's not as, I guess, spiritual in it.

you know, he does have faith obviously, but he's not like, like the earth was living and it's all connected and as I am, but he at least accepts that and it kind of goes along with it.

Meara (15:43.534)
That's awesome. You guys are in really good place.

My husband and I, met in 2017. Our relationship started on just friendship. We weren't looking for anything. He was here training from another country on business and it started as drinking. Every time we got together, we would drink. He would come back every six months. We would hang out. We would drink. It was like all based around that. So it started off really rough. We weren't even looking for anything. And then...

came back, got married in 2018 and then we literally signed divorce papers. I shipped them to him, he signed them and then he was like, no, I my marriage to work. And he came all the way back over and ripped up the papers and we were going to make it work. And then we got pregnant with our first child who is now five in June. And it has just been hard. He's from the Middle East.

And he decided to come here on a whim and just not go back. And we've had two more since then. And we have my bonus child from his previous marriage. And then I also have, well, I have three, but two of them are gone now. So I also have one the same age as, as Rene. Yeah.

Maggie (17:03.629)
out of the house.

Meara (17:08.672)
So we were living in a one bedroom house at first with three kids, and then we moved to a two bedroom and now we're three bedrooms, so on and so forth. And, and he just got his citizenship, but he has not been back home to see his family in four years. And with the war that was happening and going on, he had to end up canceling his flight. So, you know, me getting pissed off because he's in a mood. He should have every right to be in a mood.

and not like me and you know, I just feel so guilty.

Maggie (17:44.719)
There's something to feel guilty about. It's, and that's, and that's another thing too. You cannot, you can't take everything so deeply to heart that happens. And yes, it is who you are.

Meara (17:46.882)
But we're here. We're here. Yeah.

Meara (18:00.184)
personally and I do that's just who I am that's just who I am but but we're here and he doesn't want a divorce either and I don't want a divorce either and it's not just because of the kids you know like he is my best friend we tell each other everything I get to work I'm here and settled he gets to work I made it I'm here I'm settled it's like a it's a thing

Maggie (18:22.04)
And regardless, you know, regardless of the problems, you guys have a beautiful relationship and you have a beautiful family. And you've got beautiful dreams. You guys each want to live the same kind of life. And that is, that is rare.

Meara (18:28.834)
We do. We do. We do. We do. We're very blessed.

Meara (18:37.166)
It's funny. It's funny you say that because I was thinking that lately and then just earlier today, we're looking at houses currently. He was talking about, I need to see and visualize what an acre is because we're looking for acreage. And we were going over measurements.

Maggie (18:51.608)
Well tell him to come on out to my house. He can see what two acres looks like. He won't come to where we live.

Meara (18:59.358)
And we were going on measurements. He won't. He won't. Well, you never know. But yeah, so we were talking about size and and. And I was thinking he goes, goes, you know.

maybe if we cut down in size, I'm not too sure about the whole animal thing like goats and you know, but chickens and I'm looking at him and I'm making this face and he goes, because I mean, we're both scared of the dark. And I'm like, now wait a minute, if we have some lights and stuff and dogs, who's going to be scared of the dark going outside? And, and I was like, I was wondering if you were going to be doing anything with the animals. And he goes, I will not be doing anything that I just don't think I'd be able to do. And I'm thinking, well, chickens have a heck of a lot of problems. They have prolapsed anuses.

They have bugs, they have worms, have this, that, and the third. They have those lashed eggs. Yeah, I was like, you, not gonna bring the chicken in the house and give it a salt bath? I'm just, he's like, a what? And I'm like, yeah, maybe we should cut down on the acreage. you know, it's just like been a back and forth thing, but it's, it's funny, but yeah, like he's like, I like the idea, but I'm not sure about the whole, all the animals and stuff, but I'm like, we can always start, we can always start small with a few hens and work our way up.

Maggie (19:49.934)
There's so many natural ways to take care of all that.

Maggie (20:09.368)
And that's smart too. Yeah.

It's look, it's a it's a dreamy. It's a dreamy idea. It sure is. But we're so far. We're so far from where our ancestors were. You know, this is all brand new and there's still so much to learn without throwing animal or what you call that husbandry. Isn't that what you call it? You know, on top of it and.

Meara (20:16.834)
you know, with me taking care of all of them.

Meara (20:21.76)
It is. Reality check.

Meara (20:30.434)
We are.

Meara (20:40.364)
Sure.

Maggie (20:42.626)
We've gotten so out of touch with even caring for ourselves and now we're throwing all these animals into care for too.

Meara (20:53.174)
Yeah. And then we have ourselves that we need to take care of as well. Like, you know, I've put on so much weight from all these kids and I'm, cooking healthy, but the problem is now that I'm cooking healthy, I'm eating all my biscuits and I'm like, this is healthy. It's just flour. No, you're putting on weight, honey. So I've been walking a mile in the morning and making it a point. It's a non-negotiable to walk.

Maggie (20:55.074)
right.

Maggie (21:06.414)
I know.

Meara (21:12.714)
at half a mile at night and I'm feeling a difference. I've been doing it for a little over a week now and you know, because I need to take care of myself. Those back to back pregnancies with all being cesarean sections really took a toll and I can't keep pouring from an empty place to my husband and to my kids and so I'm doing what I can little by little and.

You have to learn to say what you need. can't expect people to read your minds, nor can you read other people's minds. And you have to show up for yourself, even if it's in small ways. So, so yeah, it's been crazy.

Maggie (21:50.518)
So, so I think the biggest...

I the biggest purpose of this video is just to say, you know, life happens and it's unpredictable and it doesn't mean that you should steer off the path that you're on. You just figure out how to continue making it work. I haven't taken medication since my last baby was born back in 2021.

Meara (22:13.614)
You

Meara (22:24.0)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (22:26.162)
And now I've had to take a bunch of medicine again and it's awful, that was the situation and I did it and now I move on from it and hopefully I won't have to take medicine again for the rest of my life.

Meara (22:27.394)
You

Maggie (22:40.186)
Or if you know I do get into a situation at least hopefully then I'll be more prepared naturally to use herbs and and Food in the best way to make sure that I don't I don't need to rely on on modern medicine and care So just because you you hit a setback it doesn't mean that you know that the That the jig is up

Meara (22:59.533)
Yeah.

Maggie (23:08.322)
You know, you just keep on, you just find a new path forward. Because I mean, there are several setbacks.

Meara (23:17.6)
or several setbacks, but because I wasn't getting paid. Yeah, I was, I billed myself. So I wasn't getting paid for several weeks because I went and changed the whole system around and then the system was down and then they were having trouble and then I wasn't doing it right. So it's not just one setback. can be a million setbacks and I'm not doing this.

Maggie (23:32.518)
but all the while.

And all the while you're getting your garden going and planting things and you're still carrying on with the lifestyle. The lifestyle doesn't stop. It's we treat things so much, you know, especially, especially with like diets, you know, you have one bad day where you you eat, I don't know, fast food or junk food or something. And you think, man, well, there goes the diet. And then you stop dieting. No, you just go back to it the next day.

Meara (23:38.786)
Yes, I sure was.

Meara (23:44.334)
Yeah.

Meara (24:01.038)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (24:03.077)
But that's how we treat everything in life. Once something goes awry, like, man, okay, well, this isn't happening, so.

Meara (24:04.162)
That's why it's called a lifestyle.

Meara (24:14.85)
Yeah, and we move on to the next thing really quickly.

Maggie (24:16.331)
And you know, we can even throw marriages in there too. People are so quick to give up on their marriages. Back in the day, people didn't, they didn't do that. They made it work, you know, cause women stayed at home and they were the caretakers of the home and the family and they couldn't just, you know, leave their husband because things weren't going well. They gradually, yeah.

Meara (24:21.354)
it's tough. End it.

Meara (24:28.622)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (24:36.206)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (24:43.5)
It was also a religious thing too, know, in Catholicism, because my grandma was very strict Catholic. So I remember that.

Maggie (24:49.211)
Sure, I saw a lot of divorce in the Catholic Church growing up. But that's another thing too, is religions aren't what they were either. They're kind of moving with the times and when society says something's okay, then the church is like, yeah, it's okay, sure. Not to knock anyone's religions. Like I said, I grew up in a Catholic family and...

Meara (25:06.946)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Maggie (25:15.332)
My father is still Catholic and that's fine.

you know, that's what he finds near and dear to him and that's fine. My mom considers herself more of a Christian now, not so much a Catholic, because she doesn't agree with the church. You know, religion is, if you want to belong to a religion, that's fine if that's what works for you, but...

I do not. I want a very personal relationship with our Creator and being out in His creation and learning about it, you know, and being connected with nature. That is my going to church and that is my meditation and my prayer and my everything. So no, you don't have to have...

religion if you don't want to but you can still have faith and you can still have that relationship with our creator.

Meara (26:14.206)
Thank

Meara (26:18.83)
Mm-hmm. Since we're touching base on that, I agree with you 100%. And I am accepting of everyone from every religion as well. grew up, my father's family was Presbyterian. My mother's family was Catholic. I was raised non-denominational.

Maggie (26:25.764)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (26:36.365)
and

I went to a Catholic school. I went to Jewish Community Center for preschool, went to Catholic school, middle school, went to Catholic school, high school, practiced Hindu and Buddhism in high school, learned about, I knew about Islam through my dad. He was in the military, but I didn't know much until I met my husband who is a Muslim. And I did convert in my 30s. It took me to get to my 30s to decide that this was the religion for me.

You know, it doesn't matter what faith you walk in. We all come from the same, like I said, the same dirt, the same mud.

As long as you believe that there is a creator and you have that faith, whether it's Catholicism, Judaism, Islam, that connects you to your creator. That's what you do. And that's what helps you get through the day. And if you don't have a religion, I was non-denominational for the longest time. I still believe that there was a creator as well. You need to do what works for you. And that's what's going to get you through this life.

And you are no different than anybody else. I see everybody the same. And I'm not doing this alone. Maggie keeps me grounded. And she is a kind of friend who will tell me the truth, even when I don't want to hear it. And I get butt hurt all the time by her. But she's honest with me. And that's what I need. And I think every woman.

Meara (28:16.174)
Are you serious?

Meara (28:24.526)
It's recording, it says 28 minutes and 26 seconds.

Meara (28:30.744)
Well, let's just keep going with the flow because we are nearly.

Meara (28:46.094)
You're moving. Well, Meggie may not be being recorded because it did pause there for a minute. So I am just going to say that I think every woman needs that. Not people who just agree with everything, but people who actually care enough to be real with you. Because if your circle's watching you drown quietly, then that is not your circle. So.

I just want to say before we go, thank you to all the women who are listening, whether you're in Kenya, Nigeria, Argentina, or here in Ohio, it really means a lot to know we're not doing this alone. And if you're in a season where everything feels heavy and you're just trying to keep it together, give yourself grace this week because you're doing the best you can.

and getting emotional again. And that counts for something. Get it together. Okay. Life might feel all over the place and we don't even fully know what, you know, next week's episode is going to look like, but we will be here. So stay tuned and lean on your creator, take a walk and do what you can one day at a time. We are right here with you. So until then.

Meara (29:52.909)
Maggie said, stay rooted and stay wild. I hope she's still here and I hope you can hear her. So stay wild.