We Were Made to Create | Why So Many Women Feel Like They've Lost Themselves

Maggie (00:02.84)
For most of human history, the things surrounding us carried evidence of human hands. Bread was baked, blankets were quilted, toys were carved, baskets were woven, and gardens were tended. People didn't just consume the world, they participated in creating it. Welcome to Women Folk Revival, where we are deeply rooted and wildly intentional. I'm Maggie.

Meara (00:30.64)
And I Mira. And women, we're natural creators. We always have been. And I'm not just talking about making babies. I think that we create beauty, comfort, traditions for sure.

Maggie (00:39.928)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (00:44.89)
And community and we also create spaces where we feel wanted and loved, you know. If you give a woman a house, we'll turn it into a home. And the thing is, I don't even think we realize that we're doing it because that's just who we are.

Maggie (00:51.554)
Yes.

Maggie (01:02.112)
It's just something that women find in themselves to especially to take something that already exists and make it more beautiful, make it more welcoming or more nourishing, more meaningful.

Meara (01:17.714)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (01:18.57)
even if it's not something, you know, that we are creating from the ground up, we look at the world around us and we think, how can this be better for for our families, for our communities? I don't think we can help ourselves.

Meara (01:33.958)
Yeah. You know you walk in s we can't. We can't. And I've noticed that when you walk into someone else's home, you you immediately know when

A woman has made it her own, you know, with the family pictures on the wall or candle burning in the kitchen, toxin free of course, flowers on the table, you know, those those touches are aren't they aren't necessary, but that's just how we make people feel welcome and that's a part of creation. Mm-hmm.

Maggie (01:49.006)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (02:08.226)
Yes it is.

Meara (02:11.233)
what you mean? well, I thought you were gonna say something. I just wanted to say that that I've been thinking about this for a while. And

Maggie (02:12.749)
What?

Meara (02:22.917)
I had a question and that question was what happens when all of our creating is for everyone else but our own? What happens when every ounce of our energy is given to taking care of the household, the kids, husband, work, laundry, appointments, you know, and somewhere in the middle we stop creating things that that's that's ours because and I I think that happens to a lot of women. I know it happened to me, you know, if you would have asked me years ago and they like

Maggie (02:48.15)
I think so too and and I also think that in general I think that women have have begun to create less in and I think modern life has has convinced women that you know that creating really only matters if if someone's buying it.

You know, like how do we turn this into a job? Like we can't just create just for the joy of creating, you know?

Meara (03:22.161)
Right.

Yeah, I mean, if you would have asked me years ago what I did just because I enjoyed it, I I

honestly don't know what I would have said. I wouldn't have had anything because, you know, everything has a purpose. If I was cooking, it was because everyone needed to eat. Or if I was cleaning, it was because, you know, the house needed to be clean and working because the bills needed to be paid. And everything was always for someone else. And don't get me wrong, I love taking care of my family. But somewhere along the way, I lost track of what brought me joy. You know, having these kids back to back and in my forties and in perimenopause and, you know, you're

body doesn't get back on track until two years after you have you know the one child and and and I it was just like one after the next and then my husband moved here and and it was it was a lot and then this podcast happened and I don't even know if I thought of it as a hobby in the beginning. I thought of it as wanting to help other people right alongside of what we were doing. And I was able to leave the room for a little bit and I got to spend time with my best friend and we

Maggie (04:12.654)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (04:21.922)
Mm.

Meara (04:31.369)
laughed and we cried and we had conversations that really mattered, you know, and and now more than laugh probably. And we've we've met other women, you know, whose stories have challenged us and encouraged us. And then like little by little over time something changed and I started looking forward to every week doing the podcast. Granted, life isn't crazy and you just had to, you know, wing it sometimes. But not because this feels like

Maggie (04:31.438)
Cried way too much.

Meara (05:01.319)
work because it doesn't. It just filled me back up and I realized that it wasn't just a podcast, it was bringing me back to myself.

Maggie (05:11.724)
I love that.

Meara (05:13.627)
That's how it made me feel because I remember years ago I used to feel like this and I rediscovered myself.

Maggie (05:19.958)
Yeah, that's something luckily for me, that's something that's always been very strong inside of myself. I am ever since I was little. I was you know, I was creating. I I'm an artist and I I I just have to do it. I have, you know, since the kids and and some other things that happened in my life, you know, I I stopped I stopped painting for a long time.

Meara (05:28.615)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (05:47.983)
and I no matter what I do, no matter if I'm in the garden or if I'm making some kind of herbal something or I'm making jewelry or you know, doing some kind of craft with my child

Or pressing flowers, because I do that pretty often also. Nothing as much as the I love those things and they do bring me joy. Nothing speaks to me more than painting. And all I want to do is paint, but I still I just don't really I guess realistically I have the time, but I don't have uninterrupted time. And I want to lose myself in what I'm doing. So how do we get that back, Mira?

Meara (06:36.789)
Maggie (06:37.691)
Wait until we're old. Odd and gray.

Meara (06:42.351)
We're not we're not gonna wait till we're old. Because you know when we first started doing this and you were drawing the picture for women folk revival.

Maggie (06:49.966)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (06:50.403)
It like brought back so much life in you. Now it wasn't painting, but you were able to set aside some time because you wanted it to happen. And when you want it to happen so bad, you will automatically set some time aside. You know, if you know that it brings you joy. And you just for me, when I find something like that, I just have to get over the guilt of my kids screaming in the background for an hour. I mean, they can deal without me for an hour. Like really, I'm home with them all day, right? it's just overcoming that with kids, overcoming that guilt.

Maggie (06:52.779)
At ten.

Maggie (06:57.878)
Yeah.

Maggie (07:15.552)
Yeah.

Meara (07:20.297)
Now maybe if you don't have kids, it's overcoming that guilt of not working and you know, stepping away from your job or taking care of your family member who's elderly, you know, but we have to learn how to release that guilt. And for me, it's not easy because I do have five kids at home that need me constantly. but I I just I my husband actually taught me how to lose that guilt and he was just like, you just have to let it go. It's gonna harm you.

Maggie (07:35.704)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (07:49.805)
Yeah.

Meara (07:50.35)
You have to let it go. And I was like, okay, as long as I'm doing something I like, I know they're in the background. I know they're being taken care of. Why do you feel this way? It's only an hour. And so I've learned how to I've learned how to get over that. And even when we're done doing our podcast, if it's still quiet, I'll just, you know, spend an extra five minutes by myself in here sipping on my coffee.

Let go of some of that guilt. Now if we go out to dinner, he and I, then I'll feel I'll feel a little I'll feel a bit more guilty and not really fully feel immersed in enjoying myself. And I think that'll that'll slowly die down as, you know, as they get older and they're able to take care of themselves more. But at least we were still able to get out.

Maggie (08:32.27)
Yeah, I don't I don't feel guilty. I don't feel guilty in that sense, you know, 'cause I I take my kids over to my parents and they love going to my parents and my parents love having them. So, you know, that's a really beautiful thing and I know that they're safe and but I just don't like being away from them and I know that's a totally different thing and I have some

Meara (08:42.619)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Meara (08:58.076)
Yeah.

Maggie (09:01.9)
I don't know, some I guess maybe attachment issues with that, but I do it just feels very unnatural for me not to not to be with them. So even, you know, like I was speaking like I was speaking on on painting. I don't even know that if I got like an entire day, if I could sit there and I've if I if I could even lose myself anymore, 'cause I would just be thinking about my kids the entire time.

Meara (09:05.502)
Mm. I do too.

Meara (09:13.692)
Mm. I think that's the guilt for me.

Meara (09:29.827)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Maggie (09:32.012)
And I think the more you know, the more I'm I'm saying this now, I think we just need to find a way for both to coexist to try and, you know, combine the worlds of, you know, what what it is that feeds our soul that isn't a part of being a mother. Because we're more than just moms.

Meara (09:43.367)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (09:52.656)
Right. Yeah. Yeah, we are. And I think that'll take time because I'm exactly the same as you. I mean we s we all still co sleep together and our kids are still in our room even if with the ones we're not co sleeping with. Not the elders, but the the other two. But

Maggie (10:04.674)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (10:08.869)
I get what you're saying. we do have to find a way to coexist because like they're taken care of for me and I'm still thinking about them, like, hmm, wonder what's going on. So, you know, and and with that being said, as far as getting back to who I was, I don't want people to think, get back to who you were before you became a wife or a mom or a caregiver.

just getting back to your that part of you that has been quiet for so long. Because this part of me that I'm that I was missing, I had felt like like you had known all your life. I had known all my life who I was in high school, believe it or not, with that quiet part and wanting to live slow and be slow and it felt amazing when I was able to apply those things when I was younger and I knew that that's who I was and it wasn't a hobby. It was my lifestyle.

Maggie (10:38.478)
Yeah.

Meara (11:03.293)
But with society and you know, living all my whole life all the way up until now, I just got lost. And so back to that quiet place of who I was, you know, the part that loves the learning and encouraging people and having conversations that matter and remembers that there's more to life than just checking things off of a bucket list. And I wonder how many of us women are feeling the same way because maybe you spent so many years taking care of everybody else that if someone asks, What do you enjoy doing?

Maggie (11:10.286)
Hmm.

Maggie (11:23.971)
Yeah.

Meara (11:33.034)
You'd really have to stop and think, you know? And that's okay, you're not alone because a lot of us I think are still in the process of getting there.

Maggie (11:41.036)
You know, I think another thing is too is that you know, we do talk about, you know, decorating our homes and creating that, you know, that atmosphere. everything is so readily available now and we are things are mass produced, you know, it very little is made by hand anymore and when it is it's just so darn expensive you feel guilty

Meara (11:52.507)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (11:59.195)
It is.

Meara (12:02.78)
Yeah.

Maggie (12:11.201)
buying it and and we're so you know it's so quick just to go to Amazon and and buy something instead of maybe just making something you know and it doesn't have to be perfect but something that is made by you for your home is gonna be so much more meaningful than just buying something that looks nice

Meara (12:12.785)
I have an example of that. Go ahead.

Meara (12:21.127)
Click. Yeah.

Meara (12:27.367)
Yeah.

Meara (12:37.137)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (12:37.695)
And I feel like that is something that we have lost, is that joy of, you know, I needed this and I made this.

that you know, and it and it carries memories and that's something you know, when when we're dead and gone, our kids are gonna look around and be like, Well, what's meaningful and what isn't? And ninety nine percent of our homes now are not meaningful.

Meara (12:59.879)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (13:03.911)
They're not. They're not. You know, there's not. It's funny you mention that because actually just last week I was talking to my husband, I said, my gosh, this is perfect. I just came up with the idea, I want a piece of driftwood, I wanna hang it, and I wanna put pins in there, and I wanna be able to hang my herbs to dry in my office.

Maggie (13:05.793)
There's like nothing special anymore.

Maggie (13:24.876)
Yeah.

Meara (13:26.693)
And he was like, Okay. And so I went online and I was looking and I was like, my gosh, this driftwood is so beautiful and I'm like, Three hundred and fifty dollars for a piece of driftwood? I'm like, No, wait a minute. I said, I've been wanting to take a trip up to northern Ohio where

I was born and I know there's so much driftwood on those beaches up in the Great Lakes. I said to my husband, We should just drive up there and make it a family trip for like one day and stay the night and just pick out a bunch of driftwood and let it dry and do the whole processing and make it our own. And he's like, Okay, but obviously we're not gonna do that for a while because we have so much going on in our lives right now. But maybe when things settle in the next couple of weeks, you know, towards the end of August, I hope. But but it's funny you mentioned that because then I'm like, my gosh, it'll have so many memories.

Maggie (14:01.803)
Right.

Meara (14:12.917)
The kids will be a part of this and I just thought it was a good idea.

Maggie (14:16.493)
I I have a tree limb.

hanging in my kitchen and that's what I hang my herbs on. And we hang our cheesecloth there to dry and our our coffee filters there to dry and and it's great. And it's you know it's just my husband was was cutting wood and I you know I went to talk to him and I saw it and I'm like hmm I'm like this has got you know great movement to it. I love the length. I'm like could I have this What do you want to do with it? I want to hang it in the kitchen.

Meara (14:27.878)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (14:45.255)
Ha ha ha.

Maggie (14:48.531)
I was like, just wait, it'll be beautiful. And he likes it. He does. And you know, it's and he's brought me home pieces of wood before, so he wasn't we had this huge like I don't know, probably six foot tree limb in our in our house at one point. When we moved here, it it was outside for a long time and we couldn't just bring it back in. But

Meara (14:49.647)
Yeah. He didn't get the idea first. He didn't see the vision. Yeah.

Meara (15:01.231)
Yeah.

Meara (15:11.054)
wow.

Maggie (15:16.501)
You know, that's kind of normal for for our house. But it can you know, it can be as simple as that. You know, walking out in nature and finding something that speaks to you and finding a purpose for it. You know? Like obviously it's not connected to the tree anymore, so it could leave it here to decay, and that's great because you know that's needed, but we have that everywhere.

Meara (15:20.103)
Seems normal to me.

Meara (15:25.38)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (15:32.305)
Yeah. Yeah, I think

But

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Maggie (15:43.233)
But now I've I've got something and it's even though I didn't make it, I I saw it and it spoke to me and it and it has meaning and it's lovely.

Meara (15:49.681)
You brought it in.

Meara (15:54.32)
Yeah. I think sometimes we put

so much pressure on ourselves to find this big passion or purpose. And I don't think it needs to be that deep. I think maybe it's just doing something that makes you smile, like spending an hour in the garden or reading a book, you know, learning something new or finally trying that thing you've been saying that you're gonna do someday, like getting back to painting. I don't I don't really think

think what matters is that somewhere in our week there's something that's just ours and we've forgotten that not everything has to make money or be a side hustle. You know, it just n enough it needs to be enough to bring you that peace. And sometimes it's enough that it reminds you of who you are as a person. That's that's the big part for me.

Maggie (16:37.419)
Right.

Maggie (16:44.727)
Right.

And that and that I d I definitely have. I've I have wanted so I I do make a lot of jewelry and I do I I make all kinds of stuff. That's just I just I just do that all the time. And I have always wanted to turn it into a business, but it's never really

Something's always been holding me back in a way. And, you know, my husband was always saying, you know, it doesn't need to be perfect and you want it to be perfect, but it doesn't have to be to start out. And I'm over that now.

But like I told you, when I when I do have this up and going, I don't want it to become a huge thing. I want it to be small and steady and I wanna be able to live my slow life and put intention into everything that I do. And I don't wanna be stressed out about it.

Meara (17:27.879)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (17:37.969)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Maggie (17:41.109)
You know, that's not what I'm that's not what I'm looking for. I like to create and if I can make money for my family and share something with somebody else that they have, you know, good joy from or get help from, then that's wonderful. But I absolutely, you know, this whole idea of having this huge business that, you know, makes so much money I'm just I'm not into that. I don't want that.

Meara (18:07.249)
So I guess my question for you is, are you scared because you're scared it might turn into something like that and then you're expected to do more than what you're wanting to do? Because you're in control of it all. Small batches.

Maggie (18:18.553)
I I am in control of it all. I am. I'm not yeah.

I don't know, Mira.

Meara (18:29.649)
Just gotta get out there and get started. And it's very scary. And I do know that, you know, people have a lot of expectation. Well, why aren't you making this much? You should make more and you should do more. And there's that society again. Well, you have to do this and you need to do that. And you just have to know that

Maggie (18:31.413)
Yeah.

Maggie (18:40.63)
Yeah.

Meara (18:44.763)
This isn't what I'm doing. This isn't what I was meant or made to do. And therefore I'm gonna do things in small batches. Like with mine, I'm gonna do small batches. And when it's sold out, it sold out, you know? I too don't wanna live that life where I'm stressed and I have to put in a million orders. Like everything is made with intention on my end of what I do. And if it sells, great. If I have the ability to do more than usual, that's great. But I too am not gonna let it stress me out. Like I I just I can't. I was gonna

Maggie (18:50.091)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (19:14.677)
Mm.

Meara (19:14.737)
get I was gonna open my store in August, not realizing it was almost August. And now because we have so many new amazing things happening in our life, I'm actually putting it off till next year because that's not the most important thing for me right now. You know, family is. So you just have to learn when to be able to shut it off. just like that guilt with the kids. Just gotta learn how to shut it off.

Maggie (19:20.877)
It's almost August already.

Mm.

Meara (19:42.929)
It'll still creep up there a little bit.

Maggie (19:43.169)
You know what I I think we're missing too is is what we've talked about so many times, it's just that community. How many how many women used to get together and have like a quilting circle? Or get together and shell beans or can or you know, do these things together.

Meara (19:50.971)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (20:05.5)
So where you know, you're you're creating something, but you're also doing it with a community and having that that connection, you know, and then the kids are playing with, you know, the other kids and they're having a great time and man, I just so dislike where society has taken us. I so dislike it.

Meara (20:12.687)
Meara (20:30.373)
I do too. And you know, we have talked so much this season about slowing down and listening to our bodies and building that community.

And I actually think that this fits right into this conversation because when we slowed down, that's when we finally have the room and the chance to be able to start creating again. Not because somebody needs us to, but because we need that space to. And so maybe that's the challenge this week. Think back for a minute. What did you love doing before life got so busy? Before everyone needed something from you, and before your day became a schedule, like what made

Maggie (20:50.188)
Mm-hmm.

Meara (21:09.011)
Made you happy. Maybe it's time to try this again. you know, not because you're trying to become the best or an overperformer and outperform someone else, or because it's a trend, or because you're trying to make money from it. But look at it as it reminding you that you are still in there. You're still in there somewhere, and you deserve that.

Maggie (21:29.782)
Mm-hmm.

Maggie (21:34.827)
I wanna and I I just wanna say and try try and remember that we were not made to consume. We were made to create. Our creator created us in his image and look at his creation.

Meara (21:55.644)
Yeah.

Maggie (21:57.835)
And we're like not even hardly even living in it and appreciating it. We're living in the world that, you know, man created. And there's great things about that, but there's there's a lot of really awful things about it. And I think most people are finally starting to wake up to that. but you know, just remember we were meant to create, not to consume, but to create.

Meara (22:24.785)
We were

Somewhere along the way.

A lot of us started believing that taking care of ourselves had to come after everything else, after the dishes, laundry, and everyone else's needs being met. But what if the thing you've been missing isn't more time? What if it's permission? You know, permission to plant the flowers, permission to read the book, to paint, to bake, not because it needs to become something bigger, but simply because it brings you joy. And I think we forget we're allowed to do all these things because they make us feel alive.

I don't think the goal is to become a woman who has everything figured out. I think the goal is to stay connected to who you already are as that woman.

That's the goal. Yeah.

Maggie (23:15.412)
Yeah. That that wifehood and motherhood is an addition to who you are. It doesn't replace who you were.

Meara (23:24.155)
Yes, it's an extension.

So every time you sit down to build, plant, or bake or create something with your own hands, you give yourself a quiet reminder. You aren't just here to pass through the world or manage a household. You're here to participate in it. So this week we invite you to do one thing that's just for you, not out of selfishness, but out of love for the woman our creator made you to be. I'm not gonna do it. Because you're worth knowing, not just serving. Because there's a beautiful part of you that deserves to be.

be remembered. So keep choosing a slower path. Keep showing up as yourself. And remember, sometimes finding yourself again starts with creating something that belongs to you. Is there anything else that you are wanting to add?

Maggie (24:13.654)
There was but it's it left me when you started tearing up 'cause I started tearing up and

Meara (24:14.199)
Mm-hmm.

I'm sorry.

Maggie (24:23.084)
leaves something to be remembered by. You know, when we're gone and our kids are gone, you know, maybe there's something that gets that gets passed down or or maybe some, you know, stranger ends up coming across it and says, This is this is handmade. Someone

Meara (24:28.871)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Maggie (24:44.852)
you know, part of someone's soul is in this because they're they created it. That's that is a beautiful thing. I love handmade things. I love finding, you know, little treasures like that that have a story, that have a background. So be yeah, leave your mark.

Meara (24:47.76)
Yeah.

Meara (25:00.135)
Yeah. Yeah. Our our our legacy for our children is not

money left behind or houses left behind. For us, it's teaching them how to live off the land and live with intention and learn how to identify plants and being able to, you know, just be in that moment. So if today's conversation encouraged you, be sure to subscribe and follow along on your favorite podcast app and join us over on our Women Folk Revival Facebook community page. We would love to have you be a part of our growing village. Do we know what next week's episode is?

Maggie (25:15.86)
Mm.

Meara (25:37.974)
Or is it going to be a surprise?

Maggie (25:41.32)
no, we know what next week's episode is. And it was something that I I I quickly spoke about today is the fact that we don't live in our creator's world and we don't respect our creator's world because we're more worried about progression and what happens in society than what happens to nature and the very world that God created.

Meara (25:45.233)
We do.

Meara (26:09.647)
Okay. I don't know if I can come up with a title for now.

Maggie (26:10.922)
And I am very, yeah, I'm very passionate about it. Very passionate.

Meara (26:15.919)
society's world and versus creators world on next week's episode. We would love to have you be a part of our village. So until then

Maggie (26:26.708)
Stay rooted and stay wild.

Meara (26:29.608)
Stay wild.